Manchester City striker Erling Haaland has been off to a hot start in his Premier League career. Since leaving Dortmund in May to sign with Man City, Haaland has scored 18 goals in 13 matches, and has the team second on the table, trailing Arsenal by five points. Manchester also has the most goals scored in the Award (40), and the best goal differential (+26). By all accounts, Haaland is untouchable, and everyone knows that. Well, everyone except Ashton United.
Who is Ashton United?
Ashton United plays at Hurst Cross in Ashton-under-Lyne in Greater Manchester, and has existed since 1878. Yeah, that’s all I got. Their Wikipedia page is bare, and their Football Reference page is literally empty. They have a page, but no stats, no records, nothing. However, that is to be expected when you play in the seventh tier of English football. That’s right, they play in the top division of the Northern Premier League. So why are they going after, arguably, the best player in the Prem right now?
The Pitch (and No, I Do Not Mean the Playing Field)
𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘽 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙏𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 – 𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝘼𝘼𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘿#aufc can confirm that an approach has been made for @ManCity striker Erling Haaland.
🔗https://t.co/VvWbpqdd0e#oneclub pic.twitter.com/8tzAq9o2Sy
— Ashton United FC (@AshtonUnitedFC) November 14, 2022
Don’t get me wrong, shooters shoot, and the pitch from The Robins here is pretty interesting. This is a loan approach. For those who do not know what this means, I’m not explaining what a loan is. Pretty self explanatory.
However, back to the approach itself. For those who live under a rock, the World Cup is coming up. Generally, this does not conflict with most top tier leagues, as most leagues start in August and end in May, with the World Cup in June. But for some reason (money and corruption), the 2022 World Cup is being played in a literal desert, and was pushed back to November/December. Because of this, most leagues are taking a break so the top players can represent their country. Haaland is from Norway. Norway did not qualify for the World Cup. Because of this, Ashton United saw an opportunity, and seized it, with Ashton United’s manager explaining the attempt quite simply.
City aren’t playing, and we want to help by keeping Erling fit, it makes more sense than him playing golf for six weeks.
Michael Chegg, Ashton United Manager
Let’s look at the pros and cons of this move.
The cons
Are you psychotic? Do I need to tell you the cons of this? Erling Haaland is a top flight athlete who will most likely be staying in shape during this month off. God forbid he gets hurt and misses extended time. Plus, if he got hurt during a home match, the player who injured him wouldn’t make it out of Manchester alive. If Haaland really wants to keep the mental side of his game sharp, just boot up FIFA 23.
The Pros
Obviously a month off midseason isn’t great. It’s not necessarily enough time to recover from any lingering injuries/tweaks. However, it is definitely enough time to get out of shape. It could be worth it to allow Haaland to stay on a club team schedule, play against non-pixel opponents, and make some friends along the way. Plus, maybe he’ll see some 16 year old budding star who somehow fell through the cracks. I know I mentioned injury, but I doubt anyone would even go near Erling for fear of their life from City fans. I say go for it.
It Wasn’t a “Real” Offer
Yes, it was a real approach. But, it’s more like when an MLB team uses a late round pick on a Russell Wilson. Yes, it is real, but neither side is taking it seriously. It’s a marketing thing. Ashton United didn’t actually expect City to acquire, City didn’t think Ashton United were being serious, and all parties involved had a good laugh. However, I do think Man City should loan out Haaland for one game, with the stipulation Haaland won’t play, or starts and is taken off immediately. It’d be funny, allow the Ashton fans to see Haaland in person, and take some pictures with the kids.
We all know Haaland could use the laugh after being outplayed by Ivan Toney. Go Bees!
FHEOGBSEHIGH]SDGHOISJPOGDJOPSGWHJERHTIEWROIHGIRWEOGIHEWRGOIN
🔵 1-2 🐝#BrentfordFC | #MCIBRE pic.twitter.com/d9gMXq47hq
— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) November 12, 2022
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